Religion

I wonder if blogging can truly take me away from other offensive manners of spending time? I should read more - it coats my thinking voice. For example, I just made myself step away from another website which does take more than 50% of my internet time, and is meaningless. There were two of these not less than 48 hours ago, and now there is one - a fact that I felt guilty of at first, but have come to accept. To enjoy, even. It was almost like throwing away a journal you kept in middle school, detailing all that engrossingly embarressing writing you'd rather no one see, yet you hate to part with "that part of yourself". Except in my example, this was more like a a scab that kept itching, so I kept scratching, so it kept bursting open and bleeding/pussing everywhere. Not pretty. Some things are better just left alone. I'm one of those people who forgets unpleasant things almost as immediately as they have happened and are over, thankfully (I see it as a gift from God). I don't need reminders of bad "relationships", whatever that means. I will be doing well enough to become something I am proud of, let alone remember the squabbling thing I once was. Maybe still am. But the thing of it is - remembering who I was will not help me in the future, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

I see my life as a journey, as most everyone does. I am changing and growing (cliche, cliche, move on) - but I do this without any conscious thought. That is my relationship with my Creator - I do not have to "do" anything to get where I am going. (No, this does not mean I sit at a computer typing nonsense and think that doing nothing is ok). I live, I move, I float and coast through whatever is going on (or, if I were having a more laborious day, I would use less dreamy verbs). In any case, I go about my own business and trust that life happens the way it's supposed to. I am a self-motivated individual, however, and understand that this may be abnormal. But to some degree, I do not have to force myself to get out of bed in the morning and go about my day, it just happens. Perhaps, in this way, I will not be affected and/or upset by life choices that may turn out to be "wrong" (whatever that means) - but just what was "supposed" to happen, beyond my control. (Enter cliche of "everything happens for a reason").

Or, you could say, I haven't knowingly been faced with any life-altering decisions yet. Strange, but I have. Maybe I just face them differently than I assumed I would.